forgetful.

as usual i've been forgetting to type to my blog.
i apologise for this.
( doesn't even know why she's apologising) LOL

well this morning, I woke up at 1 am, shocked after a quite unusual dream.
I'm not sure what it means exactly but iv'e tried interpreting the meaning for myself and i think i might be right but im not so sure, so first I'll start by typing the events which took place in my dream here. and then explain what i think it all means.

im not sure why, but i was in a car crash again.
this time, my face and skin was horribly distorted forcing me from the traumatic shock , into a long progressive coma.
i wake up, by this time it's my 16th birthday.
i scream, the reflective panes of glass showing me such extravagant beauty.
i question , how why,, when , WHY again.
i was a creamy pale white in colour, I was thin and slim.
my eyes glowing a quite unnatural shade of green tinged with almond.
i was no longer myself any more, my hair had grown out, my personality had changed,
but i was quick to learn to walk again,I was co-operative but only when it benefited me. I had become rather selfish.
before i knew it 4 weeks had passed,It was Andy's birthday, 1st of September.
i was smiling, happily dashing over to him whilst attempting to hide a huge stuffed teddy bear behind my back, but obviously failing.
he smiled briefly, it was somewhat distant.
i ignored this small problem, and continued talking. until finally he asks
" why did you even bother?"
i was confused, i didn't understand what he meant.
"what do you mean andy? i bother because it's your birthday" my eyes shifted their gaze away from his.
"i mean, I EVEN BOUGHT YOU A GIFT!:D, don't you want to see what it is, ojii san? :D"
"no" he replied cold and flat" you don't understand your not in love with me anymore.stop pretending to make me happy, you love someone else don't you?"
his expression seemed painful, but his thoughts were only him doubting my love.
" WHAT? I've been in a coma for i..i..I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW LONG ANDY, WHAT IS THIS. WHAT IS THIS TELL ME PLEASE! "
" it's nothing because to you, im nothing." he walked off.
i sat in my chair crying, the teddy bear continued to smile, the stitchings on its face unmoving of course.
" don't smile at me like that mr.teddy bear, your wide smile only pains me"
a few months had passed I think, I changed again. but i don't know if it was a good change.
someone confessed to me, " I love you"
who was it?
their face is blurred, but all I could see was their smile, the huge smile that pained me, that reminds me of him.

but for some reason I smiled back, and repeated those three words.
" I love you "

okay so my understanding of this, is that,
perhaps i will go through a change so big, it will affect my life in so many ways, the view on how i see things and also my friends.
and i won't necessarily be happy?
i'll end up losing someone that means alot to me?
and someone confesses to me? although I'm not sure who it was. =/