slow.

today has been good, better than most days with a side of interesting.

talked to kenny on msn for the first time today. he's LOL.
talked to jc, kat, dana, tommy

omgpoping with tommy (:

had eng test today.
maucked around & sung sailormoon,pokemon and powerpuff theme songs with jordan (Y)
we aced that test fo sure. :D

maths class was fun as today.
ateng and ashley and jacob were just fcking LOL.
i always love firday maths classes, too bad jacobs moving classes D:

counting down the days till i go overseas. about a month now. i don't want to go.

fun

today was good,
despite most of it being spent in sickbay.
i got my credit re-charge today.
i was texting tony and tim and daniel.

my fringe went retarded when i walked ot school, so i had to tie my hair back to make it look better == LOL.

i met the new guy kenny.
he's cool , made me laugh.

good

last night i comforted tony.
mm.

i hope hes feeling abit better now, even thought im not really a close friend of his or anything.

LOL my dad was freaking out,
'' why you talkto guys more than girls ''

'' theyre not gonna rape me jeez''
-glare-
-returns glare-
'' hoi okayokay , sorry talktalk go do what teenagers do ''

listening to take your shirt off, makes me wanna take my shirt off LMAO.
watched pucca, almost finished reading boku no futatsu tsubasa
and was onto sex=love2 but it was alll mindless sex, rea was right, it gets boring after a while.

probs being going brownsplains soon. depends if i feel like it
today is a good day (: all smiles.

ahh

it's cold,
no one home but me

cooking dinner time

stirfry with bokchoi sounds good. (:

amazing.

tommys pro hack. i gamed with him, whatta asshole LOL
didnt do much today,
stayed home alone ~
gamed, fbed , msned
read meanga (:

then when i thought i'd get up for abit off the laptop
all of a sudden needed to eat and had a strong urge to pee.
my laptop is too distracting. LOL


bus-ing it to brownsplain tomorrow :D
i wanna go game traders and buy and charger & games for my nintendo gameboy sd :D
miss the good old pokemon games. ahaha.

doesn't matter . - song written by asya ( crappy (: )

take that step,
take that breath,
let it go,
let's all go

to the beyond,
let's all be strong
let's keep those dreams,
it's not as it seems

never, never, never, never, never ever never never let it gooo
never, never, never, never, never, ever never let it showww

let's go on, let's begin,
let that smile shine

cause who will know, who you are
if you keep hiding

let it glow, let you know, that you're still beautiful
cause it doesnt, no it doesnt, no it doesnt matter at all.
cause it doesnt, no it doesnt, no it doesnt matter at all anymore...

you're different now,
you wear that scowl,
you always were the one
the one to shy away

but be as it may, i'll see your smile
i'll hold that heart,
make sure that you're okay.

never, never, never, never, never, never ever never let it goo
never, never, never, never, never, never ever never let you goo

cause you are what you are, never let them tear you apart.
so let's go on , let's begin
let that smile shine !

cause who will know, who you are
if you keep hiding

let it glow, let you know , that you're still beautiful
cause it doesnt, no it doesnt, no it doesnt matter at all,
cause it doesnt, no it doesnt, no it doesnt matter at all anymore.
i'm still with you.

change

hey you

i miss talking to you

we were friends weren't we?

i don't know if we're both avoiding each other but you seem happier talking to your other friends rather than me.

I have said nothing because there is nothing I can say

i'm to scared to talk to you because i feel you don't want to talk to me anymore.

but i'm honestly not avoiding you.

i've come to the conclusion that alot of things lately, have been directed at me.

at my mistakes, at me in general.

the groups youve joined on facebook.

i'm too insecure, and this probably makes you hate me.

see, i'm doing it again, i feel like you hate me.

it's eating away at me.

someone told me you weren't a good person.but you've never done anything bad to me.

but i'm just plain confused now. have i done something? have i really done something so bad that could be causing you at act like this?

what have i even done to you?

because not only do you not talk to me now, but neither does brandan.

so what is going on?!

but you know what

for now, i think i'm probably going to become cold to alot of people.

i'm sick of being so nice and gentle

fuck it

i always knew i'd be losing things, but i just didnt want to lose you as a friend, but now it feels like its too late.

youre the best thing that ever happened to me, so is kat. always helping me. and im always so blind.

argh.

overslept

not in a good mood

oh just to clarify , the icecoffee i drank yest was kats.

going school soon.

have a blank minded day.

still sick.

i can feel it in my throat. stfu :D

tired. so tired. nothing works. lack of sleep. overtiredness.

nothing makes sense, blank mind, lack of thoughts.
lack of sense. no sense. no feeling. emptyness.

everything

i added this guy named tony nguyen,

he knows kiana, my friend.

i'm to scared to talk to him though D: LOL

but he ssems like a nice guy.

missed someone ...

had a good day, went and stayed with judy and akt at their elective, lachlan , kenny and rickii.

jsut walked across the street kat, judy and rea were there. they saw me in my pjs.

i drank someones icecoffee.

tasted good :L

LOL

kinda stuffing around abit, needa get started on my graphics assignment.

still sleepy.

last night -

msned ,
talked to jacob (: , kat, joel, rea, fatty (: , tommyLOL, michael (: .
-sigh-
had a good talk with jacob, talked about mister pedo with fatty haha :L
i was just so tired,
proof read over some of michaels communictaion word document,
my eyes went faily on me. needed sleep. so went to bed. said i'd help him do the rest today later on tonight, i will , can't forget need to remember.
tommy shared songs with me again, tommys cool .
he kept telling me tim missed me and talks about me non-stop. LOOL .
i think tim should hurry up and not be capped :L
-

blah, today will be interesting,
- handing in maths assignment
- ragey art class with ragey bitchy art teacher that needs to chill & fcking get laid
- gonna help jacob do his maths assignment

thoughts.

I've decided to make my blog more diary like.

and also, I've decided to purchase a book and use it as a more 'confidential diary' as i feel i need to relieved my thoughts and feelings to something.

yesterday you asked me how i was, i said the truth ' i'm sick'

but my sickness wasn't just physical, the pain in my stomach was only the beginning of it.

i feel that somewhere mentally i'm unwell.

i over think things too much, i'm sure alot of people hate me for my mistakes.

i can tell i annoy certain people too.

it's all my fault.

i'm foolish.

you told me to get well soon, i replied 'thankyou' although typing (: , it was not enough to convey the actual warmth of my smile.

you asked me what i was doing tomorrow, i said ''school, maybe, if i feel like it, if i feel better.''

we talked more, the longest talk that we'd had in weeks.

you told me you'd possibly be leaving school and that your parents want you to do tafe.

awkwardly i confessed ' i'll miss you'

but i added onto it so the meaning wasn't misconstrued.

you went and laughed,

i said i had to go you went ' aw cya tomorrow.'

i responded with ' okay (: bye '

we had last session together, your chair was empty.

you never showed up. but it's no surprise ahaha. so it didn't bother me.

besides i talked to (john)mika and hoezae so it was all cool i guess. ahaha

it's become harder.

school work is stressful.

i'm horrible, i'm nothing.

something is wrong with me. something.

sigh.

im sick.
havent been to school much lately.
i'm probably attending tomorrow.

even if im still feeling sick.
-sigh-
im stressed, when im stressed my emotions start going weird.
argh
i started gaining weight.
i can feel it , on my legs, on my stomach.
its depressing LMAO.
i don't want to get fat again like grade 7. fatty knows what im talking about AHAHAHA.

msning/ fbing
talking to tommy & kat (:
reading virgin na kankei
listening to ' like a star' again ! LOL <3

like a star ♪

lately i've been talking to jevan, whatta funny guy.
(:
it's amazing how much he cares, its incredible actually.
hm, it's interesting. i enjoy it.

and tommy linked me to all these good songs, and techno
and im in love with '' like a star ''
he dared me to get timmy to sing it over the phone to me.
ahaha !

it lacks you

I'm deep in thought lately. always thinking
always drifting into my own little world.

constantly in my head there is you.
but surrounding you there is atrt and two more t, m. ):
what is wrong with me !

Evidence never lies.

what evidence..... do you have proof to follow up what you've claimed?
i do not need you.
i really do not need you.

dehweuioyhfuierw

ahh

this world confuses me, full of ridicule; full of judgement.
and seemingly enough, the majority of my classes are filled with 'you'
you're in my mind, your on my mind alot.
this really pisses me off, because it's clouding my original thoughts and feelings i have strongly for another person.
i have an attraction to you though,
not that of which i think 'i love you' tsk it's much smaller than that, this slight attraction because I'm trying to figure you out. i find you to be very interesting. this annoys me because i'm very curious about you. this confuses me. you confuse me, fuckingdick.
i study your movements, habits ; way of communicating to others
you change your ways when you're around me. why?
aren't i just like everyone else?
or is it something more than that...
you're a monkey, i wish you'd go away. but i think you're not going any time soon. ffs

i've been listening to all my old music lately, clazziquai is within this mix.
it brings back memories, too many memories.
but they all make me smile. i don't know why.

nice one guys .

today i was pranked.
kat, abby and rea were all in on it.
someone got dared to either confess love to joel or me.
of course, they chose me !
i believed it, and then they called me. and were laughing.
far out. not cool guys LMAO.
i was freaked out for a sec alittle bit. but i knew it was some kind of joke or something.

and randomly at the shops today, this man working at ikea was like
''miss you dropped something''
lady - SCREW YOU MFCCKKERRR.
she probs thought he was trying to get her to bend over. AHAHAHA

-slept in the car
- ate jelly
- msning / fbing
bleh ;

you fail baba.

i talked to you today on msn, you ignored me for a while. i realised this.
well, ignore might be too harsh of a word but let's just say you've been caught up with things and very busy that you've forgotten i existed. LOL
hence choice of wording i should probably stick with 'ignored'.
you're happier now that this girl is in your life. i wish you good luck.-thumbs up- (:

my father was hooking up his new surround system, and all that other crap. apparently it's really expensive. i went to look at it , and he went 'hoi, it's my baby, dun touch'
me : ....== i see how this is.

while he was hooking up the cables and shit, he turned the power off. smart move.
lost all my assignment and everything, cause i was working on it and forgot to save and was almost finished. haa. great. hours of work, lost.
he goes ' im sorry'
me : - CRIES -
baba : WHYS SHE CRYING, WIFE, WHY? SHE DOESNT USUALLY CRY
mum : it's cause shes sick, she gets sensitive.
me : IM NOT CRYING ARGH. effort, headache,pain, so much effort wasted. thanks. thanks so much ):
baba : OMGSH YOU KNOW WHAT? I'LL BUY YOU A CHUPPA CHUP ! KAY?
me : ....LOL ):

mirror

there's a girl at school, she's stuck in that crowd. yet she's very much by herself at times.
she's not popular. really , she's not, even though she looks like it.
recently she's made many friends, it's affecting her very much.
she hides things very well, hides her feelings, hides things too well sometimes.
too many guys surround her, they scare her.
make her nervous, anxious ; frightened.
she never tells anyone this. never.
she wants to many things but never asks. she doesn't want to be greedy.
she always pulls that happy face, it's quite sad actually.
she only wants to be normal, she doesn't like attention, any talent she has she feels insecure about and tries best not for people to notice it.
whenever someone compliments her on how she is/her personality/her looks she thinks
''it's a lie''
she has lost alot of trust.
shes too kind, she gets used alot.
she crys alot every night, she bottles up so much emotion, when shes stressed she becomes antisocial. void of emotions.
everyday i see her, she looks at me with those eyes.
she takes alot of days off school though, she's too fragile and gets sick often.
I've seen her cry. I've been there for her as she sat beside me, her tissue bow in her lap, occasionally pausing as she reminisces.
she smiles. i watch her. i watch her smiles fade.
shes changed.
she loves someone, hes special to her.
she loves everyone though.
her biggest fear is the thought of forgetting something. she hates forgetting. thats why she always remembers things, even if it brings her pain.
shes scared of a boy at school his hair the same colour as hers.
scared that he'll make her 'ugly'
but she already is 'ugly' in her eyes.
she thinks alot, about anything about everything all the time, every day.
when shes sick she fights herself, she becoems stubborn to rest.
she loves to read . she loves to write. she loves to draw.
she loves watching others moments of happiness, it make her day instantly good. just seeing someone smile makes her smile slightly.
she hates to be alone at times.
she loves jokes, she likes to laugh and have fun.
she likes silence. actions speak louder than words.
she likes senery,she loves the clouds. she loves the way clouds can take any shape or form and not be judged.
shes too soft at heart, too sensitive, too kind, too easy.
not many people know the 'real' her. not many.
but i see her everyday.

bleh

woke up.
felt bleh
went to school
still felt bleh
signed out, feel sick
at home now.

feel like crap. hm

clutter.

So it’s my second day back at school.

Quite uneventful

- art class

- math class

Only had two classes today, best days of the week is Wednesday’s and Thursday’s for me. Cause every Thursday I have a spare (:

-sigh-

Grades this term aren’t too good. I haven’t been focusing and stuffing around, I’m the only one to blame for this.

I need to focus with every other one of my upcoming tests/assignments from now on. FOCUSFOCUS. STUDYSTUDY.

Therefore I will probably be on blog/face book/msn a lot less.

Assignments,

Maths, art

Helped dayna do her art assignment, I had nothing else to do.

It was , utterly gross, the amount of plaster and sticky crap we ahd to use.

Dayna : ASYA, HELP ME

Me : ohmygod dayna, let me first wash off all this weird white stuff off my hands

Travis : AHAHAHA, WHITE STUFF !

Me : what….OH YOU’RE SICK. It’s paster thingie ah D:

Completion of art assignment, almost done , will be finished when mum comes back to help me sew/stuff my project.

Basically it is two stuffed cherries both attached to a stem which intertwines in the shape of a heart.

Maths assignment, should have it completed by either early this morning, or tomorrow night.

Basically it is ‘planning on overseas holiday’

We have to map out our routes and other such events which will take place, calculating cost etcetc.

I’m majorly pushing myself today. I have too.

I hate the new laptop system at our school, having to sign in and off on the sheet upon every usage of a laptop. Ugh.

Tried to help Ateng fix the laptop but it kept stuffing up.

Ateng : oi, it's like seriously not working man shitt

Me: - tires fixing shit, gives up after a minute- um LOL , it's cause you're black

Ateng : aw man, that's it i'm outta here, you're racist man

me : ah , i'm sorry LMAO

Ateng : dude, im kidding, it's aight

me : LOL :L but the laptop still isn't working ahaha.

Helped Jacob Ha do some of his maths assignment last session, corrected his wording, other stuff.

He was like

“You really like doing assignments don’t you?”

“No—I guess I just like to help people do assignments. And I guess well I do do other peoples assignments for them , but I don’t like getting things in return for stuff cause like it always ends up being something weirdish or yeah –begins to mumble- ”

“Ohh, ahaha I see (:”

day back

-sigh- holidays went slow, but ended up going away too fast.

first day back at school, just came home now.

currently eating yogurt LOL.

today was interesting , exhausting?

most of all;

i avoided alot of guys....for certain reasons that i will not explain further here =/

ranga Daniel spoke to me in English today he's LOL.

Daniel : Asya -glare-

me : yeah?

Daniel : no , you're doing it wrong, Asya -glare-

me : oh, Daniel -glare-

Daniel : ASYA -glare-

me : DANIEL -glare-

teacher : CUT IT OUT

and he borrowed my duckie pen, which quacks when you press down on it.

and all through out class all you could hear was -quack,quackqwuackquackquack-

miss someone.

-sigh-

oh well, school will take my mind off things (:

funny guy

[4:18] Tim - Asya(L):
of course i love you more,

[4:19] Tim - Asya(L):
your my angel,

[4:19] - asya (F) tim ♥

why am i your angel?

[4:19] - asya (F) tim

♥

tell me ;P

[4:21] Tim - Asya(L):
because your my knight in shinning armor?

[4:21] Tim - Asya(L):
i have no idea what i just said,

[4:21] Tim - Asya(L):
hahas

[4:22] - asya (F) tim

♥

LOLOLOLOLOL.

[4:34] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
don't cry

[4:34] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
do that for me,

[4:34] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
be strong asya

[4:38] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
i love you

♥

[4:39] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
smile ook?

[4:39] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
if your sad, you'll make me sad,

[4:39] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
if your happy, i'm happy ok?

[4:39] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
so stay happy

[4:40] - asya (F) tim

♥

okay tim , i'll keep staying happy

[4:40] - asya (F) tim

♥

but you gotta be happy too

[4:42] Tim - (L)Helen,Asya:
i will

so many guys care about me. and keep telling me to smile, i feel spoiled . =/

they shouldn't have to care so much, it makes me feel like crap sometimes D:

tim and i are just pretty good friends, nothing going on between us.

i love andy. [:

empty

somethings missing

i wake up from my dream in shock

apparently they had tazers at my school now , as a tried sneaking out they attempted to zap me

i ran, i kept running, more and more till i was out of breath

i fell, suddenly everything, scenery went blank. you were there, i was speechless; i cried.

i couldn't move.

scenery changed again.

there was a park bench, i was laying on it.

you moved closer, i told you not to go.

you sat with me and held my hand. you smiled and kissed me.

you smelt nice, it was intoxicating.

i looked at once more, you were beginning to fade. your image, your body; split into grains of sand which flew away with the wind.

suddenly i held out my hand, trying to collect the sand trying as hard as a could, but it kept slipping through my fingers.

scenery changed again,

i was sitting behind a desk in class

everyone was happy, smiling, laughing.

i was by myself, i didn't know anyone.

a boy came in, light surrounded his figure.

his smile looked just like yours.

i closed my eyes, and then i woke up.

i hate my dreams. ):

tomorrow is school, bleh

i'm not looking forward to it

i'm rather scared.

i don't want to go overseas, things will change.

all i know is i miss you. i miss you so much that everyday i think about you.

i might not admit it, but i admit it here.

don't stop

today it's so hot.

-runs around house in short shorts and singlet-

-pours water over head-

talked to Michael, jc , Rohan, texted Tim, talked to Tim blahblahblah. etc

laptop is being retarded again AH !

talked to jacob , debra , kat, rea , JOEL !

hm slow day, but it's all good.

my headache is fading away.

need to sort out how i feel. memories making me insecure.

smiling. today I've been smiling alot. i wonder why?

i think i'll take a shower soon. to cool me off.

hopefully it won't counteract and make me feel weird though. otherwise i'll be pissed.

well not really but ya, cause its too hot to do shit !

-relaxes-

memory.

i had a dream,
i have no idea what time it was that i slept.
but my dream had you in it, im confused.
but i really loved my dream.
it felt so nice and relaxing.
but why did i choose you in there?
maybe i really did miss you so much, maybe my dream is a sign of wanting to see you.
hm or maybe its cause you were the last person i talked to last night.

in my dream i was at your house, and you were studying and i was watching you get all busy and focused and stuff. and it was a very cool dream.we sat next to eachother. it felt warm, very close. can't be bothered it explain in futher detail but yeah...i wish it was real though.
cause now i have a headache.
and that has nothing to do with what i was talking about but yeah.

hardly have any credit left shittt.
need to keep it there until like a week or something. ack.

(:

today was interesting.
i woke up at 10:30 , because of my brother. i would have slept in longer for sure as i went to bed at 4am.

texted tim, texted somemore.
mum told me i was gonna be able to go to supernova.
me : ....what SERIOUS! WAH (:

so then i went there. and was jsut chilling and stuff. and i was really hyped and nervous and like stuff.
cause i was gonna meet wesley LOOOL. :D
and wesley is a cool kid.
dude i was texting him
and then like
he was telling me to go to the auditorium thingo
so i was like ehh , so i hand to go find it and stuff =/
and then when i went in, i walked past him , but i knew it was him . and stood on the opposite side.
and then i texted him asking where are you and what are you wearing.
and he pulled out his phone and was like -looks around- -starts texting-
me : -giggles- -texts back really fast- and i said LOL you text slow, look to you right ;D
him : huh ...-looks ..pauses-
me : -laughs, huge smile- uhh hello.
him : you were stanging like right there and i didnt see you
me : AHAHHA :D

and now, im talkign to michael. ahh. it's fun . (:
good times good times.

remember.

it's afternoon ,
how are you?
i wonder if you're okay. i wonder what you're doing.
i really miss you. nothing can take this feeling away...

i know im talking to myself. but for some reason i feel like you can hear me.

remember when we went to city,
remember when we first met?
you held out your arms and said 'where's my hug? :D '
and i was so nervous about being with you.
remember when you tricked me into eating that weird pinkish stuff ( i think it was ginger? )that comes with sushi.and i made a funny 'ew' face and took it out of my mouth and you laughed at me?
remember when you'd call me a child, so cute and small?
remember when i stompped my feet, and you called me a little kid?
remember when i'd trip alot, and be so clumsy?
remember how my school shoes were so grinded down from walking?
remember when you'd stare at me and i'd be like " WHAT D: ? " and get all embarrassed.
remember my first kiss? remember where it was?
remember when i'd always hide my face, and you'd play with my fringe?
remember when you'd ask me 'why do you always wear stockings? '
remember when we'd hold hands?
remember when...
you'd be next to me?
remember when we watched the movie together?
i remember your friends, josh, sam and claudia. they're nice people.
remember when you'd run away, remember how i'd play along?
remember when time would be cut short, remember how i'd have to go?
remember all the goodbyes?
remember all the times we'd be thinking about eachother?
remember when i'd say to goodnight and sweetdreams?
remember how everyday i'd be wishing you well?
remmeber when i'd ask 'hey, tell me what you're thinking about right now, like whats on your mind (: ' ?
remember all those times?
remember when i'd go off at you about shaving one of your legs and then leaving the other?
-laughs-
remember when i'd whinge, and you'd feel bad. but then tell me to harden up cause you'd always tease me. but i knew it was always a joke, but i'd still sook. ahaha.
remember how you'd always win, and i'd always lose ?
remember how you you told me not to cry?
remember the promise you made me keep? the one about always smiling?
remember that text message you told me to keep, because if it's gone i can't have my one wish?
i still have it.
rmemeber when i was in nsw, and all my credit got used up, but you knew i was almost back in brisbane that day?
and you texted me this
' Hey...your back now? If you are, wb! And if not. Get chyo ass back soon. And plus im bored. Miss giving you shit. Also , have you been sulking lately? Better not have. Text back only if you have spare credit. '
remember when it was the day before school started and you texted me this
' Sorry hubby was teasing you. Sleep tight. Get a good sleep so tomorrow is a good first day. Sweet dreams '
i can't forget. i don't even want to try forget.
these memories are so precious to me.
i remember alot more. but it's too much to say.
you're so precious to me. but in the end, all i want is your happiness.
so even if you love someone else by the time i end up seeing you, all i really want is for you to be happy. that's all i ever wanted, you to be happy. cause if you're smiling, so am i.

hurt.

the sun is shining, ouch.
i hate it being woken up by my brother. -sigh-
i want to go back to sleep , far out.
i only just got to sleep at 4. don't even ask why.
ahh,
what makes it even worse is that, rea was asking me if jemimah called and then i asked why what's wonrg and then she says dw, dw.
when you tell me not to worry, i worry !
D:
i should probably start my maths assignment, although im not sure where i've placed it.
my parents have been giving me lectures, i got more than 5 lectures yesterday as soon as they both came home.
about studies, being a failure, needing to focus,studiesstudies, looking after my brother, carrying on the family name with pride?, why do i never do my chores?! when i do them all the time.
it's alot of stress on me, because im the older sibling.
i get heaps of shit in my face, and i can't even stand up for myself.
It is so annoying when my baba tells me to focus , and get he's still planning on going randomly overseas in the middle of the year , YEAH GREAT ONE ! IM REALLY GONNA GET GOOD GRADES WHEN IM FRIKKEN OVERSEAS ! AHH !
speaking of which, it's coming up soon ):
june 7th i'll be gone.
and then coming back on the 9th of august.
i don't even get to have my 16th here.
and even worse, when i come back. it'd be strange.

you.

nothing will go past me, you think it will, you think i'll forget?
i'll hold the burden of the painful memory right till the end. don't forget that. ha, i can't.

-----------------------o

so i've chosen to grow my hair long, because debra and i were talking.
now all i have to think of is any particular style i'd like -sigh- trouble begins with that one. LOL

and for all of them going city today have fun! , while i stay at home and be a good little girl and be lonered. oh joy yay ! -rolls eyes-

is reading 'my balls' and then i'll move onto 'sensual phrase' ahh gotta love sexy things too read.
-thumbs up-

anything else i plan on doing with my day?
LOOOOL. not too sure yet. we'll see how it goes.
but for now im all smiles, the way it should always be.

so like, my brother is deciding to be a little shit and make my day at home unbearable

he turns the internet off, and then will turn it back on and turn it off again.

== fucks sake he should just grow up.

he already fucking took my laptop, and is refusing to give it back to me when its fucking mine!

and then he thinks he has complete authority over me and says

' when baba gets home you can go on the laptop eh (: '

FUCKYOU ASSHOLE. IT'S MY FUCKING LAPTOP. ARGHHHH.

so for now, i just decided to watch suju full house and love letter instead. fun , calming and very relaxing.

snipsnip.

i don't know if i should cut my hair or not. D:
i would really like to cut it short, but im trying to think of next year as in for formal. =/
so yes, im stuck as to what to do with it.

-sigh-

i have alot on my mind again. i swear i am going to snap.
i've been moody.
alot.

but thinking of you makes me calm. i hope you're doing good. (:

goodmorning,

i stayed up till really early in the morning talking to rea
we were having a deep conversation it involved her patting my head as comfort.
we decided to call people randomly.
wesley was one of our victims. ahaha.
his voice is LOL, HAHA FUNFUN MAN, you pronounce my name so LOL, adorable , silly boy.
finally at around 3-4 am ish.
i went to sleep.
the last thing i remember saying was something about a mushroom and then i said goodnight to rea <3
and i just woke up 30mins ago. it's 7:30 am now.

i plan on taking more photos with her and enjoy the rest of this day i have withher to the max !

:D

LOOOL.

ever since the arrival of rea it has been non stop fun.
her dad cam at 6 to drop her off, and we were upstairs in my room jsut on the laptop watching stuff/msning and things.
and then rea asks to go have a shower and wanted a towel and im like ''sure, let me go downstairs to get one for you aye (; ''
and when i get down stairs, her dad is there ! , he was still talking to my parents ! LOOOL. i almost had a heart attack.

so both of us started talking to jacob on msn,
it's fucking hilarious.
we were laughing and she started hitting the record button, and then a recording of us laughing got sent to him ! LMFAO , so embarrassing D:

and then she went to go charge her phone and she was like, hmm which one , and then she unpluged the laptop from the wall . and i was like YOU FAIL ! LOL !
and she got jacob's phone number from my phone, and she texted him and i took a photo of her texting him and she had the most pedoest grin on her face farout ahaha.. and she kepting taking photos of us laughing while im typing stuff on the laptop :L

today is fun so far....will post more ( add onto this soon) (:

Okay well, rea and i showed jacob the lovely drawing we combined drew of him. heh
and now she is doing sit ups

me : -opens packet of cookies- heh
her : -three four hu hu
me : more , harder harder
her : LOLOL
me : "meanwhile i will sit here and get fat" :D -shoves cookie in mouth-
few mins later ;
her : -stops doing sit ups- "you know how much this hurts? " -heavy breath-
me : pain is good (;
her : LOL SHUTUP
me : LOOL OKAY (:

her : -continues doing sit ups-
me : -gives her a weird look-
her : what ?! D:
me : sorry but every few seconds all i hear is enh enh~ so im like LOLWHUT
her : heyy D: THIS IS PAINFUL
me : then rest (;
her : asya , dont make me do it , omg
me : do it , rest do it , come eat the cookiessss !
her : LOOL ASYA ! -gives me the finger-
me : :L

rea : -stares at empty cookie packet- why does the cookie packet have a baby on it?
me : it does? LOOOLL IT DOES ! LMAO
her : it's freaky LMAO
me : LOOOOL
her : it's like ' OMNOM IM GONNA EAT YOUR FACE WHILE YOUR ASLEEP FOOL !'
me : LOLOLOL !

i go brb for abit, and then when i come back from the toilet, rea announces to everyone on msn that i smell like soap. yes i do. i just washed my hands LOL

okay so it's almost 12 am ! woah. gotta wait for this. GOODMORNING EVERYONE LMAO.

troublesome.

Tsk.
My baba always goes off at me for what i wear.
always commenting , always watching me.
always arguing with me.
It becomes so frustrating.
I give up now.
I don't even wear anything innappropriate, and yet he'll continue to go off at me.
Today i wore a shirt, shortshort's and black stockings combining it with a set of lowcut converse.
he claimed my shorts were TOO SHORT. fuckkk.
he'll call me horrible names like prostitute, slut etc.
and then tell me to go to a brothel.
So i just give up, and go change into something plain. I'll be the better person instead of fighting him because i can't be fucked anymore.
I'm sick of it.
and what makes things worse is that my back hurts, it hurts alot.
and im not even sure why. but it hurts to the point of wanting to make me cry. im over it.

atleast rea will be coming over today, i'll be able to take my mind off things.
she'd sleeping over (: it'll be fun.

ouch.

so, i cut myself in an awkward place today.
i have no idea how that was even possible, but it happened !
ouch. it hurts kind of.

today wasn't that great,
woke up late, at 9. that was odd.
cooked , facebooked.
did chores,
got carried away, camwhored.
got carried away
back on msn.

taesin made me LOL.
Andrew Wong is FUCKING LOLOL.
ahhh, today has been good maybe.
only had one moment where i cried, days are getting easier now as they pass by onto weeks which slowly follow up with months. but i won't forget you, never will.

song.

there was one thing,
i was told it
doesn't matter,
but that one thing,
that one thing is you.

there is one thing,
that always will matter,
and that one thing,
that one thing is you.

cause time is meant to fly by so fast,
but as it keeps on going, im scared you'll go to
cause i haven't got you beside me, the only things i can hold onto
is all my memories, is only memories.

cause there is one thing,
that's really special,
that one thing is you.
that one thing is you.

there is one thing,
it's not a thing,
it's a person,
it's only you.

hummm.

so today is a saturday. my tears are dried.
trying not to think about what happened.
moving on.
it's afternoon.
chores.chores.chores. COMPLETE! LOOOL so tired thoughh D:

i went out to gardencity with my baba and i bought sushi and a hot cake.
i didn't end up purchasing a book because i was bored and wanted to get home.
baba gave me 25 dollars for no reason. yes to being the only daughter he has ! (:

my aunty and mychildhood friend are coming from darwin or was it melbourne?
to brisbane and im spending three days with them.
danni ( childhood friend) has changed alot though. as have i.
before we'd both be tomboy, but now she'd tomboy and im not anymore although i
still act like a guy at times. ahaha :D

i just hope things will be all cool, im excited and looking forward to seeing them.

final goodbye.

so i took a while to think, i sat down all day
counted all those hours,noticed my mistakes.
The pain takes it away, I'm no longer sane.
You're hurt, it's no game, it's no gain.
I wish you know these words im trying to say,
although no words could describe this way.
I can't see me with those words, you'll never know what you never heard.
I can't apologise,you got me good; that blame fits me; that blame stays.
I cannot begin to stop, I can't explain. I'm going insane, my heart stops.
Because I've thought about this every single day, it kills me the sight of your name.
Although you'll never know what's in here what's in my mind
there's not that much left, im stuck , no longer can i climb.
I don't ask for forgiveness, i was wrong.
With these words I'll be strong. Hate me, Despise me. But will that make you a better person?
You've lost me forever, cause i forced it apon you to let me go.
I guess it's goodbye den. Takecare of yourself.

back on.

okay so i was banned for a couple of nights of the comp.
cause of my stupidness. -sigh-
well im back on now !

a few nights ago i went to a talent quest, Thanh came too.
when i arrived i was locked out , with brandan and Dan and his little sister. LOL
we were stuck for a while.
we found a way to get in through the back, but i was too chickenshit, and brandan slipped in with eaze. dan and i were like, D: !

we ended up getting in cause of my mum for free ! AHAHA.
after the talent quest finished. my mum strated driving off. and then she asked how Thanh was going to get home. she didn't like the fact he'd be busing it back lonered.
we gave him a lift home it was kind of awkward but he was really polite to my mum and behaving nicely.
i never got to thank him for doing that and showing good manners LOL.
his house hes at is huge. D:
i wish i lived there , im jealous. he should like save a room for me AHAHA. jokes :D
last night i also called tim, and i LOLed , even though we didnt have much to talk about it was still fun cause we hadnt talked in a while. thanks tim (:

today im prank calling this creeper guy , that is being clingy to debra. i hope i scare the shit out of him. HAPPY APRIL FOOLS, YOU STUPID FOOL ! :D