thoughts.

I've decided to make my blog more diary like.

and also, I've decided to purchase a book and use it as a more 'confidential diary' as i feel i need to relieved my thoughts and feelings to something.

yesterday you asked me how i was, i said the truth ' i'm sick'

but my sickness wasn't just physical, the pain in my stomach was only the beginning of it.

i feel that somewhere mentally i'm unwell.

i over think things too much, i'm sure alot of people hate me for my mistakes.

i can tell i annoy certain people too.

it's all my fault.

i'm foolish.

you told me to get well soon, i replied 'thankyou' although typing (: , it was not enough to convey the actual warmth of my smile.

you asked me what i was doing tomorrow, i said ''school, maybe, if i feel like it, if i feel better.''

we talked more, the longest talk that we'd had in weeks.

you told me you'd possibly be leaving school and that your parents want you to do tafe.

awkwardly i confessed ' i'll miss you'

but i added onto it so the meaning wasn't misconstrued.

you went and laughed,

i said i had to go you went ' aw cya tomorrow.'

i responded with ' okay (: bye '

we had last session together, your chair was empty.

you never showed up. but it's no surprise ahaha. so it didn't bother me.

besides i talked to (john)mika and hoezae so it was all cool i guess. ahaha

it's become harder.

school work is stressful.

i'm horrible, i'm nothing.

something is wrong with me. something.