mirror

there's a girl at school, she's stuck in that crowd. yet she's very much by herself at times.
she's not popular. really , she's not, even though she looks like it.
recently she's made many friends, it's affecting her very much.
she hides things very well, hides her feelings, hides things too well sometimes.
too many guys surround her, they scare her.
make her nervous, anxious ; frightened.
she never tells anyone this. never.
she wants to many things but never asks. she doesn't want to be greedy.
she always pulls that happy face, it's quite sad actually.
she only wants to be normal, she doesn't like attention, any talent she has she feels insecure about and tries best not for people to notice it.
whenever someone compliments her on how she is/her personality/her looks she thinks
''it's a lie''
she has lost alot of trust.
shes too kind, she gets used alot.
she crys alot every night, she bottles up so much emotion, when shes stressed she becomes antisocial. void of emotions.
everyday i see her, she looks at me with those eyes.
she takes alot of days off school though, she's too fragile and gets sick often.
I've seen her cry. I've been there for her as she sat beside me, her tissue bow in her lap, occasionally pausing as she reminisces.
she smiles. i watch her. i watch her smiles fade.
shes changed.
she loves someone, hes special to her.
she loves everyone though.
her biggest fear is the thought of forgetting something. she hates forgetting. thats why she always remembers things, even if it brings her pain.
shes scared of a boy at school his hair the same colour as hers.
scared that he'll make her 'ugly'
but she already is 'ugly' in her eyes.
she thinks alot, about anything about everything all the time, every day.
when shes sick she fights herself, she becoems stubborn to rest.
she loves to read . she loves to write. she loves to draw.
she loves watching others moments of happiness, it make her day instantly good. just seeing someone smile makes her smile slightly.
she hates to be alone at times.
she loves jokes, she likes to laugh and have fun.
she likes silence. actions speak louder than words.
she likes senery,she loves the clouds. she loves the way clouds can take any shape or form and not be judged.
shes too soft at heart, too sensitive, too kind, too easy.
not many people know the 'real' her. not many.
but i see her everyday.