wasted..

you know that feeling you get when that person is on your mind and it feel so painful to even keep thinking.
my heead is throbbing. i have a headache, i woke up at 1 crying.
i looked at my phone , hoping, praying that i'd have a call waiting for me just like old times.
but nothing. and yet i still hope.
im so broken. and i keep trying to fix the holes in me.
but it's not working, and i keep fucking up.
i don't understand anymore.
brandan said he feels like hes not talking to asya when he talks to me.
have i really changed that much? ): this saddens me alot.
-sigh-
there's nothing much i can do. i want him to help me.
i want it to go back to last year. that's why i asked him on wednesday if i could come over his house. because i miss the old times. and we havent had a good talk in a long time. we need to. cause we are good friends. i dont want to lose him. he means alot to me as a friend and i hope he knows this.