friday

today was good, brandan talked to me more.i wish him a happy birthday and gave him a birthday hug. it didn't make me feel so lonered cause we were talking.
so confused about this whole 'c' thing, talked to jacob about it. farout =/ .
ran into Jordan today on several occasions, he keeps stuffing up his tie and then i questioned him today '' why do you keep stuffing it up? so messy == ''
and he responds '' because that way you can tie it for me everyday ''
and i went silent and then said '' oh is that right? LOL ''
and then like he'll keep walking me to the front gate, and making up an excuse like ' oh my step mums there shes gonna pick me up, so yeah '' or some crap, but after i pass the gate, i turn around and he looks back and gives me his trademark goofy smile and walks off .
i sigh heavy and laugh thinking ''not again.''

--------------------------o

suddenly, without warning, without reason;
that hopeful spark; that glowing instinct dies.

once more the wind cools her heart,
that station long stopped running,
the course, the passage, closed;
heart station froze.

going away, she'll be back safe
then she'll start clean, brand new slate,
day by day that whisper, that single urge, becomes stronger;
that crippled delicate voice, innocent, more urgent with despair.

She doesn't understand, all meaning refuses to reach her,
baffled she waits, quiet, no words nor emotion,
all she knows is her heart station froze.