heartbreaker.

okay so today i was meant to chill with someone, but he was busy with his mates and stuff, so i was like okayfine so i let him go have fun with his mates and just told him to take care and not get into trouble.

my graphics teacher called up my mum claiming i wasnt at school yesterday when i came to school . cunt. im annoyed. frustrating.

-sigh-

i don't know what im doing anymore. seriously ahh
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all i know is im losing myself to this feeling. im losing myself alot

sorry. i cut off i was meant to type more.
i had a pretty good day today. stayed at home alot.
i went to nightowl, but like ms mc`carty saw me, i thought she'd call up my parents. but like LOL , i was saved. whatta cool teacher (:

well now onto thigns at school.

people are missing. constantly.
like . not going to put any names but
when hes at school , the other one isnt
and then when the other ones at school, he isnt.
why do they keep doing this. and futhermore.
they'll always suffocates me with attention.
like, unwanted attention.
and because im so used to his attention now, when he doesnt talk to me it makes me feel weird. am i just using him as a replacement for someone else?

it's okay if he wants to be my friend and all but hes really close to me now. i don't mind that much, but some part of me does. he misses me alot too, he might not say it. but i know he does when im not around. or like if he doesnt talk to me, he'll apologise. it's confusing. does he like me?
he'll always talk to me on msn, always asking what im doing, wanting to know whats up. concerned if im sad. why? im not special. i didnt like it when you said i was. it hurt.

he was talking about spares the other day.
this made me LOL
he wished he could have a spare with me so me and him could chill.
i thought that was sweet of him.
but i don't want to be alone with him, theres just something , i get nervous and scared and insecure of what im doing and how i feel. =/ but it's not that i don't want to be with him , hes fun to be around but its fucking up my feelings and thoughts, and i don't knwo what im doing.

a few days ago, i had a good talk with jacob as we partially wagged up to woolies and came back for our math lesson. im glad i talked to him . and i thank him for listening to me. but my bad, theres so much shit he doesnt know about me, it was hard for him to follow. every few seconds he was like ' wait what D: ' i apologised to him for not having talked to him for a while.
thank you. [: